


Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

by PadawanBrittany (PadawanRyan)



Category: Jonas Brothers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-21
Updated: 2009-03-21
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PadawanRyan/pseuds/PadawanBrittany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick hasn't been honest about his feelings, but when on vacation with the family, Kevin won't stop pressuring him about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

“Nick...you’ve got to tell him. This isn’t good for you.”

“I’m surviving.”

“Yeah, but for how much longer? You know as well as I what’s happening.”

Yeah, I knew what he was talking about. It’s not like I wanted to acknowledge it, though. My eldest brother knew me all too well, but obviously not well enough if he thinks I’m gonna be telling my secret. It’s my secret, to keep my own. Sure, I know I get depressed, and sometimes I even considering harming myself, although thankfully I haven’t. I know it’s wrong, but I urge so much for him.

“I’m not saying anything. Please, just go away?”

“Whatever, Nick. Just don’t expect me to sit by and watch it happen.”

.

.

“Wow, how come you never told us about this place before?”

It’s been two weeks since the talk with Kevin. He was definitely telling the truth about not sitting around and watching it happen. If he wasn’t insisting I tell, he was throwing hints into nearly every conversation. I mean, how can he want me to go through with it so much? It’s a sin. I can’t love my brother, it’s not right. I shouldn’t even have feelings for any guy, that’s just as much a sin as the guy being my brother.

“We never really thought about it,” mom told us.

Dad nodded, “Yeah, we haven’t been here since before Kevin was born.”

The entire family was at this cabin out in the mountains of...well, honestly, I don’t know where. I fell asleep in the long drive up. There was snow everywhere, and it would be a nice change to spend Christmas surrounded by snow rather than heat like in LA. Christmas was only a few days away, and mom and dad had basically packed the trunk full with all our presents. The ones I bought were all small, so I threw them in a bag.

“Hey Nick,” Kevin began, “Isn’t it romantic? A white Christmas, I mean.”

“Uh...sure, Kev, I guess it is.”

“Don’t you wish you had someone to roll around in the snow with?”

“I guess...but oh well, right?”

I desperately wished that I had a certain someone to roll around in the snow with, to make snow angels with, and to build a snowman with. I mean, they do it all the time on TV, but I never get to do that with someone. It’s not often we’re even around snow. I knew I was beginning to look a little nervous through that conversation, so mom came over and put her arm around me, smiling.

“Oh, don’t think about that. It’s the holidays, boys! Just be glad you have each other.”

“That’s right!” Joe finally spoke.

Laughing, mom then added, “We only have four rooms, though. So two of you will have to share.”

.

.

“I really hate you, Kev.”

“Oh, I love you too.”

As soon as mom had brought up sharing a room, Kevin jumped in grinning, suggesting that Joe and I share a room. I had been about to protest when Joe said it was a great idea, since he didn’t often get to share a room with me. In hotels, often he and Kevin would share a room, since they’re the oldest, and Frankie and I would share a room. I groaned and trudged in the direction mom pointed me to, Kevin following with my stuff.

“Why? Why did you have to suggest that?”

“I told you that I’m not just gonna sit around while you avoid this.”

“I’ve noticed that...but sharing a room?”

“What better way is there to have you admit your feelings than to have him catch you jerking off to him while he sleeps?”

Did he seriously just say that? I wouldn’t be jerking off to Joe’s body while he sleeps. I was basically afraid of talking in my sleep. I tend to do that sometimes, and if I have any sort of dream about him as I had for the past many months, I didn’t want him to know. Groaning, I shoved open the door with two beds inside, and Kevin followed me in, throwing my two bags onto the farthest one.

“Just so you know,” I began, “I don’t jerk off to him.”

“That’s not what I hear when your door is closed.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Not until you tell him.”

“Why did you give me the farther bed?”

He grinning devilishly, “Harder for you to leave the room.”

As if on cue, Joe then came bouncing through the door, a smile lit on his face. Kevin raised an eyebrow at me quickly before slinking out of the room, leaving me alone with the guy I was in love with. I turned away then, and began to unzip my larger bag, the one with all my clothes in it. I guess mom and dad planned to bring kids here some day, because there were two dressers available for us to put our clothes in.

“Isn’t it great that we’re sharing a room, Nick?”

“Uh...yeah, sure. Great.”

.

.

“Who wants to come sledding with me?”

The four of us kids were all sitting around in the small living room, where thankfully there was a TV. Frankie had basically seated himself in front of it, while Kevin sat in an arm chair, Joe on the couch, and I sat on the floor with my back against the opposite end of the couch. It was random when Joe suddenly stood up and asked who wanted to go sledding, but nobody seemed very enthusiastic.

“Oh, come on! Nobody wants to go sledding?”

“I think Nick does.”

I glared at Kevin before replying, “No...I really don’t wanna...”

“It will be fun Nick. Joe will be there too, you won’t be alone.”

“Yeah,” Joe added, “I won’t let you hit a tree. Promise.”

He wouldn’t let me hit a tree? I knew why, he would be spending too much time hitting them himself. We all knew how accident prone Joe could be, we didn’t call him Danger for nothing. I had to admit, sledding did sound like a fun idea, but sledding alone with Joe didn’t seem like the best idea. He then reached down and grabbed my arm, pulling me up so that I stood beside him.

“Get ready, Nick! This is gonna be fun!”

.

.

“I think this hill is a little too high.”

“Oh, come on. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, little bro!”

Sometimes Joe seemed much too enthusiastic. We had already gone down a couple hills, small ones, with me sitting behind Joe on the only sled we could find. Usually I would fin myself in an awkward situation at points like that, but luckily, it was cold enough outside to keep that from happening. As well, all good feeling often went away as soon as we halted, because the rough halt happened each time to be caused by a tree.

“Seriously, Joe. We might get hurt. You already got hurt!”

“Just a scratch or two, nothing serious.”

“If we go down this hill, it will be something serious.”

“Don’t be so negative, Nicky! Now come on.”

I groaned, but I knew that he was only going to be persistent with it. As well, I felt myself always being tempted to do what he says anyway. He sat himself on the wooden sled, which had become so rickety from hitting too many trees, and motioned for me to follow. I gulped, and climbed on behind him. My arms usually stayed down by my side, holding the bottom of the sled, but I was a little scared this time.

“Joe...can I...?”

“Sure, hold onto me. We don’t want you to fall, right?”

I nodded, but I was still nervous as Hell. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he got us started with his feet. My heart was pounding a million miles an hour, and I was unsure if it was due to the speed in which we were moving, or the fact that I was pressed up against Joe’s back with my arms around his waist. All of a sudden, the hill became a little bumpy near the bottom, and I couldn’t hold on anymore.

“Nick!”

I let go of Joe and went rolling through the bumps in the snow. Honestly, they were less painful as soon as I was off the sled, but I continued to roll. When I finally stopped, close to the bottom of the hill but not quite there, I just lay in spot. I could hear Joe calling me, and when he came into my view, I noticed his worried face, and felt a little bad. I worried him, even though I was feeling perfectly fine.

“Oh God, Nick, are you okay?”

I lifted a hand and gave a thumb up, “A-okay.”

“Are you sure? You didn’t hurt yourself?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

I was going to be fine, I knew that very well, but Joe didn’t seem to be convinced, considering I was still laying in the snow. Likely, he believed that I was in too much pain to get up. As comfortable as I was, I didn’t want to worry Joe anymore, so I slowly lifted myself to a sitting position. Instantly, Joe launched himself at me, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug.

“You scared me, Nicky.”

“Joe, it’s fine. I just fell off, nothing happened.”

“But what if something had happened? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

There was nothing I could think of to say, I was completely speechless. For a moment, it even sounded like he was crying. Joe, crying? He barely ever cried, it had been years since he left anyone see or hear him even sob, let alone cry. I then returned his hung, wrapping my arms around him. Still holding he close, he pressed a kiss to my cheek quickly, and suddenly I pulled back, just looking at him.

“What was that?”

He looked confused, “What was what?”

“That kiss.”

“It’s just a sign of affection, Nick. Don’t get all grossed out by it, please.”

“I’m not grossed out.”

“Then why do you care so much?”

“Why did you do it?”

“I don’t know, I’m worried, okay? I love you so much, and I thought I hurt you.”

“I love you too, Joe.”

“You don’t understand, Nick. I love you, more than a brother should. That’s why I’ve been so happy to be around you, share a room with you, sled with you. I enjoy spending time with you, because I love you so much.”

Again, I was speechless. I had no idea what to say, or even think. Joe loved me? The same way I loved him? He couldn’t possibly have loved me, but the look in his eyes suggested he was telling the truth. His eyes were teary, and I knew he was very serious. Grabbing his hand in mine, I looked deep into his eyes, and smiled. I had to tell him, there was nothing to lose anymore.

“I love you too, Joe. The same way. That’s why...that’s why I’ve been so distant, I was afraid of telling you. Kevin...he tried to make me...”

“You mean all those romance and sexual comments?”

“Exactly.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said I was afraid. I didn’t want you to hate me, or even worse, reject me.”

“Aww, Nick. I could never hate you.”

Returning my smile, he grinned like a child on Christmas. I guess he wasn’t too far off, considering we only had one more day left until Christmas Eve. Deciding not to hold back any longer, I leaned in forward, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Joe wrapped his arms around my waist, and returned the kiss, so I ran my hands through his smooth hair as he pushed me down in the snow. We stayed that way for a couple minutes before getting cold.

“Come on, let’s go inside now,” I suggested.

.

.

“Finally!”

Joe and I had walked in the door of the cabin to see Kevin and Frankie still in front of the TV. Joe tossed the sled off to the side, making a loud clatter as he did so, and both our youngest and oldest brother looked at us. Kevin wasn’t even looking at our faces, though, and I looked down to see what he was looking at. When I realized that it was our joined hands, I looked up to meet my oldest brother’s smile.

“Finally what, Kev?”

“I was wondering how long it would take for you to come back. I guess it worked.”

“What worked?” Joe asked.

“I pointed out that sled to you for a reason, Joe. I knew you’d want to go sledding. Frankie was in on it too, we both decided to refuse your offer and send Nick.”

“You knew this was gonna happen?”

“I certainly hoped.”

I felt confused. Did Frankie know why Kevin wanted him not to go sledding? I guess it didn’t matter much, considering Kevin had planned the entire thing. Part of me wanted to be mad at him, since it was very much like all the annoying comments he made, but another part of me wanted to forget about it. Why did it matter? I had Joe, and that’s what should have been important.

“So,” Frankie piped up, “Did you guys kiss?”

I was too shocked to answer, but Joe smirked, “Sorry, kiddo, I don’t kiss and tell.”


End file.
